My Special Present

HE WENT TO JAREDS!

Ben got me this pendant for Christmas

It is very special to me because I love Cameos

Its also special because its a mom holding her son(or daughter)

I know one day I will get to hold my own kids and that this

infertility journey will be over!

Short But Sweet!

Christmas with my family this year was so fun! It was short but sweet full of lots of laughs.

Highlights of the trips included:

1. Spending Christmas Eve day with the twins
(Aubrey and Aaron)

running around finding last minute presents

and taking a picture with santa

(I bet you guys know what I asked for Christmas from him;))

2. Playing games with the family Christmas Eve

eating yummy clam chowder

3. Aubrey having to sing a christmas song with crackers

in her mouth as punishment for losing ultimate bingo

4. Watching my mom run around the house in the snow

singing Christmas songs as her punishment for losing Toss Up

5. Ben being forced to have a makeover as his

punishment for losing Jenga

6. Watching A Christmas Carol in our Forever Lazy smurf outfits.

7. Christmas morning talking to Jesse in South Africa

8. Opening Presents

9. Watching Ben and Aaron run around shooting eachother

with their nurf guns they both got for Christmas.

10. Doing Nails w/ Aubrey and my mom

I wish we could have had more time but it was still lots of fun!

Me and Ben

Aarona nd his fake tatoo he got as a prize for winning a game

Ben getting a nice makeover

Christmas Eve Presents

The Smurf family

I just love my house

Oh and one more thing.....

On Monday Aubrey and I were having so much fun and didnt want the trip to end.

We were talking about maybe having her and Aaron fly out during the Sring time.

So we were busy thinking of ideas for the Spring when all of the sudden Aubrey mentioned

just coming w/ us back to Topeka since they dont have to be back to Utah for another week.

It was a brilliant idea. So we decided we would suprise the boys and not tell them until

we were on the road. Aubrey packed her and Aarons stuff and we snuck it in the car.

My parents were in on the idea and helped distract the boys while we got everything together.

Once packed we said our goodbyes to my parents, loaded in the car and headed towards the airport.

I waved at the house and said my goodbyes. Aaron waved at the house and said

"see ya in a few hours"

It was perfect timing to spill the beans.

"NO your not actually because your coming to Kansas"

At first he didnt believe us until we showed him the suitcase.

Both Aaron and Ben were so excited because they still has so many games and so many

shows to watch and Aaron was getting bored at the house so he was happy to go on a vacation.

Aubrey and I were proud of our sneakiness!

So Aaron and Aubrey are with us in Topeka right now and will leave after New Years.

I am so happy they got to come, even though I miss my mom and dad still.

All in all it was a great vacation and wonderful Christmas

                                                          

All I want for Christmas

All I want for Christmas are my eggs to not be shy and for Bens sperm to

 man up and take these girls on the ride of there lives!

If I cant have that then a baby doll will do!

Deck the Halls and Walls

I have had my house decorated for Christmas for a long time but have not put up any pics yet. We were originally going to stay in Topeka for Christmas but last minute we decided to go to Wyoming for the weekend and we leave tomorrow. I can hardly wait. I am sad to leave my cute Christmas tree though. Oh and my cute puppy! He has to stay behind. I am glad I have my own little house that I can decorate for holidays. Its exciting to get your own Christmas stuff. I cant wait to have little kiddos. Christmas seems so much fun with little ones. One day!;)

Our stalkings and cardboard chimney

Decorations

Kitchen table

Rice got to open his Christmas presents early

I love my fur baby

Our Christmas tree. It has been very cozy!

Close up our button wedding chain that we used for a garland.

Hope everyone has a great Christmas!

Me Vs Dad

Me and my dad had a duel and I WON
Our duel goes as followed....
My mom has been in Topeka visiting for a little over a week, which has made me very happy. Well I knew that she was going to leave today so last night I was preparing myself for our goodbyes. Now her car has been having troubles with dying adn we knew we had to jump start it in the morning. She then went on to say that she might just stay another day and make sure everything was ok with the car. I was more than happy to have her stay one more day. But she knew that my dad would be sad if she spent one more day, so she left it up to me to try and convince him that she needed to stay. So here is the following text conversation w/ my dad.
Me; daddy, how would you feel about your wonderful wife staying just ONE MORE DAY!
Dad; NOOOOOOOOOO....I need her home!
ME: But I want my mommy
Dad; You cant always get what you want
Me: But if you try sometime, you just might find, you get what you need....And I need my mommy!
Dad: I need my wifey
Me: You get her everyday.
Dad: I miss her
Me: (sent pic of me with a sad face)
Dad: (sent pic of himself with even sadder face.
(Mom was won over by dads sad face, agreed to not stay another day.)
Me: Fine daddy...you win.

SO the rest of the night we had lots of fun doing our nails, listening to music and talking to Ben and stayed up way past my bedtime. It was a good night. This morning I got up before work to say my goodbyes and I get a text from my mom.
MOM; I have a horrible ear infection...dad is calling me in some meds. You get me one more day.
YAY
My text to my dad
I WON!
Dad: No response
:):):)
Im excited to go home and cuddle w/ my mommy for one more night.

Celebrate Me Home

Im going home for Christmas and I am so excited! It has been a year and I finally get

to see some of my friends and spend time w/ my family in the house I grew up in.

Wish I could be there for more then a weekend...but it will have to do!

I was listening to the radio and this song came on and it made me giddy about coming home!

Here is the jist of it!

Home for the holidays,
I believe I've missed each and every face,
Come on and play my music,
Let's turn on every love light in the place

It's time I found myself,
Totally surrounded in your circles
Whoa, my friends

Please, celebrate me home,
Give me a number,
Please, celebrate me home
Play me one more song,
That I'll always remember,
And I can recall,
Whenever I find myself too all alone,
I can sing me home.

Bad Hairday!

I had a bad hair dye experiace on wednesday and it could not have come at a worst time...my mom was coming the next day and I looked like someone who screams to loud music, sketches dirsturbing pics and pierces their nose!
Here is a pic to prove it!

IT WAS BLACK!!!!!

So this is how this catastophy came to be. It all started Tuesday night when I decided I wanted to go w/ dark hair for winter. I have died my own hair so many times and it always turns out good. But this time I used a different brand and a little darker color then I usually do. (BAD MISTAKE) After I dried my hair I could instantly see that there were black streaks in my hair...I was not happy. So the next day after work I went to a salon to get it fixed. I specifically asked her to just make it one color and get rid of the black streaks. She was rude and told me it they were not black, just really really dark brown. (oh OK!) so anyways she told me she was dying it a brown....well she didnt...she died my whole head "really really really really dark brown"  IT WAS BLACK! I was so mad! I was in tears and they felt reallly bad so they didnt charge me. Well it was 8:00 at night so there was really nothing I could do. So I went home and literally had a panic attach. My mom was coming the next day and I had not seen her in 4 months. I yelled and screamed and went crazy. Poor Ben really couldnt do much to comfort me. I could not sleep at all and felt so aweful. So Thursday morning I go to work and of course all my co workers are like "hmm you dyed your hair, it looks ummmm nice!" What a bunch of LIARS! Why couldnt they have just said "what the heck did you do to yourself" It would have made me feel better. So after work I ran to Regis Hair Salon and begged them to fix me and like the good professionals they are, made me one happy girl!

Back to my good old happy self!

All thanks to Regis Hair Salon

I will never go to the first salon ever again. They were so unprofessional and made me feel aweful! I will always stick w/ the well known salons. Another lesson I learned, never go darker then the normal light brown hair dye that I usually use.

                                                                                                                                                         



Thanksgiving Fun

We had a great Thanksgiving w/ the Romneys. The weather was sunny and warm and  perfect for a great thanksgiving. We played football, ate great food and spent quality time with everyone. It was very relaxing and  went by way to fast.

Romney Football

I love these pics of Ben.

He looks so hot!

:)

The family is too big to all sit at one table

This table was assigned to those without kiddies.

This picture was taken 2 years ago

when Ben took me home with him for Thanksgiving.

2 weeks later he proposed and we used this as one

of our engagment pics. Its one of my favorites.

Disaster Averted!

So I had a very ditsy moment tonight that I just feel like sharing.
After work I went to the mall to see if I could find me a cute new sweater for thanksgiving w/ the Romneys. I was looking around I realized I had a million sweaters at home and it was better that I did not spend money right before Christmas. So like a good girl I walked out of the stores empty handed. I decided to get some pizza for me and Ben so that I didnt have to cook when I got home. I got in my car and was excited to get home to eat, but right as I was about to pull out of the parking lot I remembered that I hadnt called the parents of our boy scouts to remind them we were not having it tonight. The parents directory was in the back of my trunk. I parked my car and got my keys to unlock the trunk to get the phone list. Well for some reason I set my keys down in the trunk and forgot to grab them after I got the list. I instantly was like "crap, how am I going to get home with my keys locked in the trunk." But then I remembered that you can pop the trunk from the inside of the car. So I pushed the button....but it didnt open. Now Ben is phoneless right now so there is no way to get ahold of him. My first form of action was to call my friend Stephanie because she lived close to the mall and could take me home so that I could get Ben. So I called her and told her of my predicament but she could not help me because she was in Louisiana for thanksgiving. My next instincked was to call my BFF Janelle even though she left work early today because she was not feeling good. She was more then happy to come and get me and made fun of me just a little bit. Well not long after she had agreed to come get me I realized something of importance....I looked down at the botton that I had been pushing to open my trunk and realised that the pic on it did not show the trunk opening....it showed the hood opening. I ran outside and sure enough the hood of the car was open. I ran back into the car and found the proper button to push and heard the joyful sound of the trunk opening. I laughed to myself, grabbed my keys and called Janelle to cancel the rescue. Luckily she had not left yet. It made us both giggle. Glad I have friends to rely on, since I cant rely on my phoneless husband. Hmmm...I think I know what I am going to get him for Christmas

Miss Martha Stewart Part 2

I finally got my upstairs organized to my liking. I had no energy or time to paint though. But I can live with white walls upstairs. I got a new comforter for our bedroom and a few wall decorations. I hate plain walls. I am now satisfied and feel right at home!

Top of the Stairs

New comforter and wall decorations

Close up of the wall decorations.

To the left is a creative way to hang jewelry.

To the right are handy dandy wall stickers. New favorite thing.

Our office.

This is Bens side

This is my side. The clock is probably my favorite.

One day our office will  turn into the baby room

(that is if we have a baby in this townhouse)

Until then I love it as an office.

Im kind of sad that Im done decorating now. There are no more rooms.

I need a bigger house!!!! LOL

Happy Birthday Rice

Rice turned one today according to the records he came with when we bought him.

So Ben and I decided to throw him a doggy B-Day party.

Is throwing your dog a B-day party totally pathedic....absolutly!

Was it super fun and totally worth the 5 bucks I spent at the dollor store....Heck Yeah!!!

Party Time

                                                  Rice got to eat his Rice Crispy treat
                                               His presents were some bones and hangers.
                                             He LOVES Hangers. He can chew them all day!
                                                   I think the kiddy hangers will be a hit!

I love my puppy!(I think I will always call him puppy!)

Happy Birthday Rice!!!!;)

19 kids and counting, and one in the oven

The famous Duggars from TLC's 19 kids and counting are PREGNANT...with #20
Can I just say it.......WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Where are my Rainbabies?

The 2 worst words when TTC

NOT PREGNANT!

Our first IUI failed us! Everything seemed perfect. Numbers were good, I had 2 eggs ready to make a baby, yet I still, in my gut knew I was not going to get pregnant! So now we do it all over again. The meds, the shots and the waiting. By far waiting is the hardest thing and what Im dreading the most!

So onto the rainbabies.
There is a childrens book called The Rainbabies that I loved when I was little. Its about a couple who do not have children and they desperatly want them. One night the woman goes out into the rain and asks for a miracle to come. She then glances over into the field and sees some light. She runs over and finds 12 little babys the size of her thumb. Her and her husband are so happy that they have been given a miracle! Through the story things happen that put the babies in danger, but the loving parents always save them and try to keep them out of harms way. One night a man comes to the door and offers them a stone that is worth a lot of money in exchange for the babies, but the couple refuses his offer. They love the babies more then any riches. The man then turns into a beautiful woman who tells the couple that the rainbabies can not live without her and that she needs to take them back. The couple begs her not to take the rainbabies. She then tells them she is pleased with the way they took care of her rainbabies and they are worthy of being parents. She pulls out a basket and they open it up to find a baby girl. The couple finally got the child they had dreamed about.

Sometimes I wish I could just come home and find a baby on my doorstep! Or find 12 little babies the size of my thumb out in my yard. When will it be my turn to be a mom!  I know I am young, but it still doesnt take away from the hurt infertiltiy brings!
I just hope one day my own miracle comes! I wouldnt trade being a mom for any riches of the world!

Happy Halloween

I hope everyone had a great halloween. This was my first halloween ever where I got to pass out candy. I grew up in a spread out neighborhood so we never got trick or treaters but this year we are in a neighborhood w/ children so I got prepared. I had my candy, my costume and of course Rice's costume. I didnt make Ben dress up because he already did last week when we went to the Law School party. But me and Rice sure looked super cute and I think Rice stole the show. I dont think the kids even cared about the candy, they just wanted to pet Rice. We had a fun last week w/ my cousin Abby and did some halloween things which were lots of fun including a pumpkin patch, watching hocus pocus and the Adams family and going to the law school party. But it was also very busy. We did our first IUI which caused me to miss 3 days of work(not really complaining) Now I am just playing the waiting game and trying to find ways to get distracted so I wont focus on the WHAT IFs. Halloween was a perfect distraction!

JRC party

Zombie Ben

Me and Abby at the pumpkin patch

Saturday night we went w/ Jen and Jared

to the haunted house in Kansas City and I

dont know what was scarier, being in the

old part of Kansas city that looks like zombies

live there even when its not halloween,

or the actual house.

The Zombie in picture got me good!

Me and Janelle at work

I got to play the Angel this time

NO one is a cuter devil then Rice!

This was Rice's first Halloween and he was so excited!

He would run to the door and look out for the kiddies.

When they came to the door he would look at me like

"what do I do now mom!" haha.

October sure went by really really fast, it was a good month though! Hope next month is just as good!

Sorry no pictures of the IUI.  I dont think any of you want to see that!;)

My Favorite Brown Eyed Beauty

My cute, amazing cousin Abby is in town visiting Ben and I for the week. We have planned this for several months and it has been so fun! This blog post is deticated to her because I just love her so much!!!!
 So my story goes way back before this beauty was  born. My mom and my Aunt Barb both married into the Luddington family and were best friends. They did everything together and they knew they would have kids at the same time and raise them to be close. Sure enough they had kids one after another. My brother came first, 6 months later came Ashely then a year later came me, 10  months later came Stephan, and one year after that came Jesse. We were known by all the other family members as the Evil Five. Which we were!
Well I was always the outcast. Aaron was besties w/ Stephan and Jesse was besties w/ Ashley and I was the picked on one. My mom and Aunt went on trips w/ us all the time and I would find myself crying because the other kids were so mean to me! When I was 4 they pushed me down the stairs...seriously they were horrible!
Now my mom always knew she was done w/ kids after Jesse was born, but one night when Jesse was just a little thing she had a dream about a little baby girl who had big brown eyes and curly black hair. She was holding her and it was almost like she knew it wasnt her daughter but still had this amazing bond. She wrote about the dream in her journal. Well a few months later my Aunt Barb told her she knew she could not have anymore biological children and was thinking about adoption. My mom instantly said INDIA. So a few years went by and when I was 7 years old Abby came into our family.  She had big brown eyes and curly hair.
I just loved her so much and from that moment on trips were no longer unbarable. Two years later they adopted Ashton and he is such a funny kid.  Even though we lived in 2 different states growing up we still saw eachother all the time. Thanksgiving we would go to Utah and for Christmas they would come to Wyoming. We always went on trips together over our Spring Breaks and spent most of our summers playing in our grandparents pool. Our moms did raise us to be very close, they practicly raised us together!
Abby is now 14 and one of my best friends ever! She will always be more like a sister to me!  

      
                                            

                                                    Abby and her Telitubby(Im holding her)

Stephan, Aaron, Jesse , me, Ashley and Abby

Mexico 2003 and Devils Tower 2008

She sure grew up pretty darn fast!

She was my maid of honor

She really is only 14, Im not fooling you. She just looks 18!!!