Just a little bloated

Im just a little bloated.....

(this is just me standing normal I promise!)

But I dont think much of it is because of the pregnancy

I really think it all started w/ my egg retrival.

I just like to think that its because Im already in

my 2nd trimester even though Im weeks away!

I will be 6 weeks on Wednesday and we

will have our first ultrasound next tuesday. I really hope

this week goes by as fast as last week did.

Ben has finals this whole week so I feel

like its going to feel like FOREVER.

I still dont really feel pregnant but I bought

a really cute baby outfit to make it seem more real.

It was funny though, when Ben and I were at church

there were all the usual cute babies looking at me

with there googly eyes.

I looked at Ben and in my mind I wanted to say my normal

"Ben do you think one day we will have one of those"

instead I said

"Ben we have a miniature one of those in me that probably

is not as cute and looks kind of fugly right now!

We giggled.

We also laughed about how tiny our children are going to be.

But personally, I think smaller is better!:)

Anyway...I have made it through another week

but we still need lots of prayers that we will have

a happy healthy pregnancy!

Feeling Good

Well I am done with all my bloodwork for now!

Thank goodness.

Yesterday my numbers came back with flying colors so I am

feeling pretty good. I am exactly 5 weeks today.

I still dont feel pregnant but Im sure its just going to take awhile for things to set in.

In 2 weeks I have my first ultrasound which Im

so excited/nervous about.

I hate waiting and 2 weeks is a LONG TIME in my eyes.

Thats how long I had to wait between each IUI to see

if it worked or not.

But as of today I am still pregnant and

soaking it up for all its worth.

I look like I am already 2 months pregnant but thats

because I was so bloated from my egg retrival and transfer.

Like seriously I could probably pass for someone

in there 2nd trimester. I wonder how I will look

when I actually start gaining baby weight.

So for the next 2 weeks I am going to pass my time

with work, sudoku puzzles and I few freak out phone calls

to my mommy!:)

Blogging Rut!

Well last week was one of the most exciting weeks of my life!

But now Im in a blogging rut!

There really is nothing new to update.

I have 0 pregnancy symptoms and I am just wanting to throw up

so that this pregnancy feels more real.

So far I have had 2 blood tests to make sure baby is growing and I have

one more on Tuesday. They check the levels of hormones and each time

I go I get so nervous that Im going to get bad news.

The anxiety never ends!!!!

I think once Im out of my 1st trimester I will start to relax a little more.

Im still feeling very happy and gratefull but it still doesnt seem real.

I feel like I should still be blogging about infertility

and upcoming treatments instead of pregnancy.

I really am trying to relax and enjoy this but I still have my guard up

just a little bit. I think its because it took us forever to get to this

point so I just dont want anything bad to happen!

But as of today life is good!

Dumpster Diving Dad

This is my story about finding out I was PREGNANT!

(It still seems so unreal!)

Ok so lets go back to Sunday night

I was feeling pretty horrible thinking that the IVF did not work.

I had no symptoms and just did not feel like I was pregnant and I was losing hope.

I kind of had a little melt down.

Ben and my mom tried to comfort me but I just kept crying.

My body has been full of so many hormones so I allow myslef to cry

especially when going through IVF.

So Monday morning I was talking to Ben about how I just did not feel

like it worked and he said maybe I should just soften the blow and take a pregnancy test instead of waiting for my bloodtest on Wednesday.

So I go in the bathroom and take a pregnacy test and sure enough only one line showed up. My stomach dropped. I watched the test for a few minutes to see if a 2nd line appeared but it didnt.

So I threw it away and went into our bedroom to tell Ben.

I started crying and he just held me and tried to comfort

me for about 20 minutes. Then he had to go get ready for school.

I tried to calm myself down so I could get ready for work.

I sat up in Bed and just PRAYED that it was wrong and I really was pregnant.

Right when I finished my prayer Ben came in the room

and was like

"Does it matter that there is a faint 2nd line!"

MY HEART LITERALLY STOPPED!

I ran into the bathroom and sure enough there was a faint 2nd line.

I literally jumped in Bens arm.

He said he just felt like he should double check the test so he

dug through the trash to find it.

He's my Hero!

So I ran to show my mom and she grabbed

her magnifying glass to take a better look. 

The line was definitly there! 

I went to work feeling extra giddy and happy.

When I got home for lunch I took 3 more pregnancy tests including a digital and

I was definitly pregnant. The + signs were defintily there!

Im so thankful that my mom was here to celebrate w/ us.
She was so cute and went and bought a bunch of baby stuff and decorated my kitchen table.

I have taken a test every morning now because its just so fun seeing a possitive for once on a test!

I have been waiting for this for almost 2 years!

I had my official blood test done today and I acted super

excited when my nurse told me I was pregnant.

(I didnt want to tell her I cheated and tested early!)

We are feeling very blessed right now!

I went a little crazy

(the lines didnt show up as good on the picture)

Loud and clear!

Mommy and Ben suprised me w/ this when I came home from work

When I was little I would tell my mom I was going to name my first baby girl

Pretty Heart Rainbow

My Birthday Wish.......

CAME TRUE!!!!!!!!!!

Waiting Sucks!

Thats all I have to say about that!

Meet our Moon Babies

These 2 little ones are hopefully making themselves comfy in my womb!:)

Our transfer went very well despite the fact that I was feeling

so sick and threw up two times in the Drs office before the transfer.

Everyone was so nice to me and got me crackers and I kept apologizing

for throwing up all over the floor.

Once I felt better they moved me into the transfer room where

they showed us pictures of each of our embroys.

Then the Dr came in and literally 10 seconds later the procedure was done.

I was like  "thats it?"

and he was like

"yep...there in there!"

The Dr also explained that we had 3 embryos that might make it to freeze

if they survived the night and kept growing. So I was excited/nervous about them

all night, but very happy that we got 2 in me.

Today is my birthday and I told my embryologist that all I wanted

 for a present was to have all 3 embryos make it to ice...and guess what

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!!

All 3 pulled through and are now in a frozen tundra!

So we have 5 embryos, 2 in me 3 on ice!

Im feeling really good

Now Im going to sleep some more than eat some birthday cake!:)

                          

IVF is not for sissys!

IVF is hard!

Its hard on your body and your mind!

Especially your mind!

There are so many mind games

So many ups and down

Its just HARD!

Thursday and Friday I was in the best of moods. My spirit was high

We had 16 embryos!

Then Saturday came and my body decided it didnt like me

I hurt from head to toe and couldnt even move off the couch.

Then Yesterday we found out we were down to 12 embryos.

I was a little discouraged that 4 didnt make it.

Today I found out that 6 stopped progressing.

So we are down to 6 embryos

6 out of our original 16

I know this is normal and my Dr reassured me that

it's very normal to have a lot of the embryos not progress

but my heart still aches.

Im just scared that even more will die by tomorrow.

I also really want some to freeze just in case this first go doesnt work.

Transfer is still set for tomorrow and I just hope these little guys make it.

I have been through so much and my little heart cant handle any more hurt!

I had so many nightmares last night and I have shed a lot of tears today!

Trying to put on my brave face and just make it through the work day!

Prayers for my Embies!



Love in a petri dish

Yesterday we found out that

16 out of my 17 eggs were fertalized.

We are very pleased

9 of the eggs were fertalized by a process where they put

the sperm directly in the egg w/ a needle.

Only one didnt fertalize.

The other 8 were done the "old fashioned" way in a petri dish.

All 8 fertalized.

So Bens boys did better on there own.

He is very proud!;)



(I just had to add a visual!:) )

The embryologist called me again today and let us know that our

embryos are all dividing properly so far.

Everyday she will update us on there status since it changes

day to day. But so far things are looking good.

Just Call Me the Easter Bunny

17 EGGS!:)

Off to fill my Easter Basket

Ben's part was easy!

All went well!

Not too sore

About to watch a movie and go to sleep!

It was a good day

Now I just have to be patient until tomorrow when they

tell us how many embyros we have.

It's all just a waiting game

But Im feeling good!

The Final Countdown

Just got the call from my Doctor. We are doing our egg retrival on Thursday.

I am so excited and totally scared all at the same time.

Im scared we wont get a lot of eggs

Im scared they wont fertalize

Im scared we wont have embryos

Im scared I wont get pregnant!

BUT

Im excited to see how many eggs we get

Im excited to see how many fertalize

Im excited to see our embryos

Im excited of the possibility of getting pregnant!

So far everything is falling into place and I am hoping it continues.

These next 2 weeks are going to be very hard on my anxiety...but such is life!