Holy Follicles!

I went to my appointment today to see how many follicles I have in my ovaries.

(A mature follicle holds the egg)

Well we definitly do not have to worry about not getting eggs

I have 27 follilces!

14 in each ovary.

Now just because I have 27 folliclse does not mean that I will actually get

27 eggs during my retrival next week. Some follicles might not mature to release an egg.

And some of the eggs might not get fertalized or grow into an embryo.

So dont worry...I doubt I will actually have 27 embryos!

I do hope we get several embryos so that we can freeze them to use later.

IF I DONT get pregnant on my first go than we can use the frozen embryos and just keep

going until I get pregnant, or run out of embryos.

 If we DO get pregnant on the first go than the frozen embryos will hopefully result in sibling children.

Its funny because Ben and I will never just say

"lets start trying for a baby #2 3, 4"

We will just be like "ok lets call the Doc and unfreeze those lil ones"

I am feeling very hopeful that somehow I will get pregnant within this batch of eggs!

FINGERS OH SO VERY CROSSED!

This is what my ovaries look like right now

I am feeling very bloated and fat and sore.

But all is good:)

Mean Girls Part Deux

I dont know if any of you guys remember my post from last year about the mean girls. I kind of went on a rampage about certain girls who made my life miserable at work.

Well its a new year, and 2 of those girls are gone (thank goodness) but one orginal remains

and she has added another side kick.

Im just going to share some of the stuff they do so that you guys know I am

not exagerating about how mean they are.

(I added some pics just to add visual!:)

1. They talk about me behind my back. I hear them.

My cubicle is not very far from them and sound travles

2. They are very rude when they give me phone calls.

"I have a call" in a very snotty voice

3. They left a note on my car saying

"learn how to F'ing park!"

4. They talk bad about me to my friend and yesterday

one of the girls said she wanted to slap me.

5. They critisize the way I do my job.

6.  I accidently made a mistake and I got my A$$ chewed out by

one of them and she isnt my boss or anything. She has no authority over me!

7. They give me the nastiest glares.

It looks like they are trying to drill a hole in head

with there magic evil powers.

8. They question my every move and why I miss a lot of mornings at work.

(I have already talked to my boss and she is well aware of what

I am doing so they can mind there own buisness)

9. Thing #1 said "I dont know how some people can be so stupid!"

regarding me!

10. I went on break and put on the board that I would be back at 3:00

well I guess it was only 2:42.(we take 15 minute breaks)

well when I came back she had erased my time at put 2:57.

I asked why she erased it and she said very rudly

" I put the correct time you needed to be back"

I just rolled my eyes and looked at my watch and guess what time it was

2:57

So I stuck it to her anyway because I did INFACT come back

at the right time!

(the other receptionist is very nice and came up to my desk afterwords and told me

she did not agree w/ what Thing #2 did.)

Anyway there are other things that go on and it is constant and I am

their #1 victim.

I really dont know why.

Jealousy????

Do they just need someone to pick on????

NO CLUE

But I think Taylor Swift sings it best......

"Someday I'll be living in a big ol' city
And all you're ever gonna be is mean
Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me
And all you're ever gonna be is mean
Why you gotta be so mean?"

(now I wont actually be living in a big city but you get the idea!:) )

The difference between this year and last year is that last year I didnt have any friends

and I was really homesick so I hated coming to work and feeling just so lonely.

This year I work w/ one of my best friends and all my other co-workers are awesome.

So now its just amusing to see what they do!

When Spouces meet!

My two spouces met this weekend!

Let me explain.....

Janelle is my best friend here in Topeka.

 We work together and she is like my 'spouce away from my spouce!'

We switch over from who gets to be the complainy wife and who has to be the supportive husband.

Usually I end up being the "wifey!"

She supplies me w/ a coke almost everyday and we just giggle about everything.

Her and Ben had never met, even though they both hear equal amount about eachother.

So it was a big deal for me to have them meet.

It was perfect!

Through Janelle I have met Sarah and Shayna. They are equally awesome

and I am so glad I have good girlfriends who are exactly my age.

So we all met up at IHOP for dinner and then went to the Hunger Games.

The night was so easy going and everyone just had a great time.

AND

The movie was AWESOME!

I usually dont read that much but last year I managed to make it through

the whole book in one weekend and the movie did not dissapoint!

We then all went and got shakes and Steak and Shake

(a tradition Ben and I do after every movie we see)

Janelle, Shayna, me and Ben

Sarah, Janelle and Shayna

Sarah's husband Jordan come along too

but I didnt get a pic of him.

Ben and I

It was an A+ weekend:)

Pictures in the Sky

I think I have the female reproductive system way to much on my mind!

I see images like this in the clouds.

Is it just me or can everyone else see it?

The right follopian tube is missing(I hope its not a sign that I am going to lose a tube!) lol

Now I just need to start seeing babies in the sky and we are set!

On this same note....I am such a pro at the female reproductive system!

I could tell you exactly when you ovulate, how the process works, how the sperm travel

pretty much anything!

I guess none of my sister in laws really need my advice!

They all seem to do just fine on there own! :):):):)

(I hope to be joining you very shortly!)

Moving right along

I am suprised at how fast this IVF procedure is going. Tomorrow I finish the first stage of getting my body ready. The daily shots are not really that bad, its more the anticipation of doing it, however it does sting for a few minutes. I will have about 4 appointments within the next 2 weeks and then approximitly on April 6th I will have my egg retrival and then on April 11(my birthday) we will transfer (hopefully) 2 good embryos! Then I wait 8 days and hope that those 2 lil guys decided to stick around!
I have mixed emotions about everything. Im excited that we are doing this procedure because the success rates are so much better than anything I have done before, but my heart is trying to prepare myslef for it not working. I have to allow myslef to think that its ok that I have doubts and not feel guilty about it. Its hard when you have been dissapointed so many times, so you naturally have your guard up. But we are pressing on and Im excited/nervous/hopeful for the outcome!



                                             This is what they do to my follicles!;)

Irland

Since tomorrow is St Patricks Day I have been getting into and Irish mood.

I never used to care that much about St Patricks Day until my study abroad

when me and my friends went to Ireland.

We went to Dublin a few weeks before St Patricks day but let me tell you,

you can go to Ireland in June and it will still feel like St Pattys Day.

Every store you go into there is hodunk Irish music and tons of souvenirs such as....

LEPRECHAUN dolls, CLOVER cups/shirts/jewelry/pants/, BEER glasses/cups/plates/shirts/shoes

HATS with beards attached.

Its pretty much like St Patricks Day threw up EVERYWHERE!

But it was such a fun city!

Now I love St Pattys Day and it just reminds me of my wonderful time in Ireland!

Shop shop shop

Wicklow Mountains

Lana made us 4 leaf clovers since we couldnt find one on our own

Somewhere over the rainbow

(and I thought Irish Boys were suppossed to be small!)

Packages!

Yesterday was a day of packages!

Package # 1 was from Aaron and Aubrey

We had a race to put our own puzzles together!

I WON

 They sent us candy letters. So cute!

I have a favorite line but it might be a little inapropriate for my blog! LOL

But if you have good eye sight and want to have a shot at finding it

GO FOR IT! :)

Package # 2 was not as much fun.

All of my shots for the next month

Let the bruising begin!



SPRING!

                                             

                                                              Spring in Kansas

Spring in Wyoming!

(and Im not exaggerating!)

Come Monay

Come monday our journey to making a baby will become a lot more complicated! A lot more shots, a lot more money and Im guessing a lot more emotions. I am feeling hopeful but I still have that pit in my tummy. I dont really think that will go away until Im 3 months pregnant. But Im still excited!

                                              Off on our new adventure to get one of these!

OR Two

or possibly Three!:)

Stop This Train

Last week I hopped on a plane and went to Cheyenne to spend a few days with my mom and dad. It was such a fun week and a much needed break from work/infertility/bills. It was nice to be with my parents and have them "take care" of me. We shopped. went to movies, watched TV ate yummy food and just had an amazing time. It was very hard last night driving to the airport. We shed some tears and my heart hurt to leave them. I didnt want to go back to being an adult. It was fun playing a kid.
While I was waiting to board my plane I was shuffling through my ipod John Mayers song Stop this Train came on and it explained my situation to a T! Here are the lyrics.

"Stop This Train"

No I'm not color blind
I know the world is black and white
Try to keep an open mind but...
I just can't sleep on this tonight
Stop this train I want to get off and go home again
I can't take the speed it's moving in
I know I can't
But honestly won't someone stop this train

Don't know how else to say it, don't want to see my parents go
One generation's length away
From fighting life out on my own

Stop this train
I want to get off and go home again
I can't take the speed it's moving in
I know I can't but honestly won't someone stop this train

So scared of getting older
I'm only good at being young
So I play the numbers game to find away to say that life has just begun
Had a talk with my old man
Said help me understand
He said turn 68, you'll renegotiate
Don't stop this train
Don't for a minute change the place you're in
Don't think I couldn't ever understand
I tried my hand
John, honestly we'll never stop this train

See once in a while when it's good
It'll feel like it should
And they're all still around
And you're still safe and sound
And you don't miss a thing
'til you cry when you're driving away in the dark.

Singing stop this train I want to get off and go home again
I can't take this speed it's moving in
I know I can't
Cause now I see I'll never stop this train

 

I just love that song. It is so true. We can never stop time from moving forward and we just kind of have to go w/ it. In the long run we will look back at times in our life and think "why was I worried about such and such, I should have just been content"

It is hard to be away from family and I dont think thats something you can just get over, I think it will always be hard even when I have my own kids. But I am thankful that I have such a strong family that I love so much. In the show Downton Abby one of boys is homesick and the maid told him that he is homesick because he comes from a happy family and thats nothing to be ashamed about! So yes I get homesick a lot...but I have a happy family and I am thankful for that!